The Breakdown Moment: How High Achievers Miss the Warning Signs

Blake Schofield 0:04
Real leadership, real life, real impact. No more choosing between your career and your life. Here you’ll find honest conversations, science-backed strategies, and inspiring stories to help you thrive at work and truly enjoy your life outside of it. I’m your host, Blake, and I’m honored to help you create more impact with ease.

Blake Schofield 0:38
Are you closer to a breakdown moment than you realize? Here’s the truth for high achievers: it’s rarely obvious. We don’t see it coming because we’re so used to pushing through. We normalize the stress, telling ourselves it’s just this project, or it’s just a busy season. Or we believe that the next promotion, the next job, or the next vacation will finally make it better.

But here’s the warning most people miss: if you’re in misalignment or you’re making changes that don’t solve the root cause, it’s not a matter of if you’ll hit the breakdown moment. It’s a matter of when.

So how do you know you’re close? Well, I’ll make it simple with a three-question risk assessment.

On a scale of one to ten, how fulfilled are you in your work right now? One means you dread getting up in the morning. You’re just going through the motions. Ten means you wake up energized and excited, you spend 85% or more of your time doing work that’s really in your zone of genius, and you feel valued for the work that you do. Stop right now and answer that question. On a scale of one to ten, how fulfilled are you if you think about, let’s say, the last two months?

Then the second and third questions: they’re yes or no.

Do you end most days drained instead of energized—yes or no?

Blake Schofield 2:01
And have the Sunday scaries become more common?

If you answered that your fulfillment is a seven or below, and you answered yes to the second and third questions, there’s tremendous opportunity to improve. And if you’re at a four or below, that’s a blazing red warning sign. You are at serious risk of a breakdown.

Blake Schofield 2:25
Other red flags: becoming cynical or detached, even though, deep down, you do care. You care about doing a good job and your reputation. And rest no longer restores you. You don’t start the week with excitement and energy.

If that sounds like your reality, I want you to know you’re closer to that breakdown moment than you think.

Blake Schofield 2:47
I know because I lived it. I went through this cycle three times, and at my third breakdown moment, I was absolutely at my worst. I was six months into a new job where I moved my family across the country. I was the sole income earner of a family of five. On paper, it looked like I had it all. I was making more money than I ever had. I had the opportunity to launch a business and really start something from scratch.

In reality, I was more miserable than I’d ever been.

Blake Schofield 3:23
I’d wake up at 5:30 or 6:00 so I could get ready, park my car, get on the train, and go down to the city. I started listening to podcasts or inspirational stories, reading books—things to help me focus on something positive, to improve my mindset before I would go to work.

Blake Schofield 3:44
Multiple times out of the week, I was so exhausted, and I felt so trapped and so overwhelmed. I would end up in the women’s restroom, in a closed stall, crying just to try and make it through the day or the week.

Blake Schofield 3:59
At the end of the day, I’d finish up, rush home on the train, and try to get home in time to enjoy family dinner time. I’d spend time reading books to the kids, getting them ready for bed, and then I’d be back on my computer from about 8:30 sometimes till midnight or 12:30, trying to catch up on emails and strategy and move things forward so that I felt like I had things more under control. On average, I was probably running on four and a half or five hours of sleep at night.

Blake Schofield 4:33
By Friday, I would celebrate that the week was over, but over the weekend, that weight of the stress and not knowing how to solve the problem I was dealing with would continue replaying in my head. And by Sunday afternoons, I would have the Sunday scaries and start dreading the week ahead.

Blake Schofield 4:53
I thought I just needed to continue to push forward and it would finally get better. I felt responsible for meeting the deadlines, and even though I didn’t have the resources that I needed, the buck stopped with me.

Blake Schofield 5:04
The truth is, I was trapped. And each week I was going to work, it got harder and harder and harder. I was stuck in a cycle that was really crushing me, and I could start to see that the way that I was living was not sustainable.

I ended up hiring my very first coach. I remember sharing with her everything that was going on with me: how I wasn’t sleeping, or I would wake up stressed with my to-do list, thinking about everything that needed to get done. That I felt like my workload was unachievable, and I didn’t have the support that I needed—and had asked for it and not received it. And how I just continued to push through because I was responsible for making it happen.

Blake Schofield 5:48
And I’ll never forget the moment she looked at me and asked me this question that stopped me in my tracks. She said, “Blake, the real question is, why are you willing to sacrifice your health and your life for a company that isn’t willing to give you what you need?”

Blake Schofield 6:05
That question was like a brick to the head.

Blake Schofield 6:09
It forced me to see how much I had been sacrificing, not just in this job, but honestly, for my 17-plus year career.

That breakdown moment is what finally made me recognize how much I needed help—that what I was doing wasn’t sustainable, and I couldn’t keep living this way.

Blake Schofield 6:30
You know, at that time, I believed my only option was to give up my income to do something that would enable me to do fulfilling work and have a more sane life. To be more present in my life, for my kids.

And I can’t tell you, over the last eight years, how many leaders I’ve talked to that have gotten to that point—who are trying to figure out:

• How can I leverage what I’ve worked so hard for and also have a more sane life?
• How can I enjoy my work without feeling like it’s bleeding into every part of my life?
• How can I reduce stress?
• How can I balance it without having to give up my income, my career, my reputation?

And it was that journey for me that led me to recognize that the struggles that I was dealing with were not unique. That the things that I had been dealing with over and over in my career were not only common, they’re prevalent in leaders today.

Often, we believe that the solution to our challenge is another job, or making some drastic change, when the reality is, if you’re not fixing the root cause of why you continue to go through burnout or lack of fulfillment cycles, you’ll just keep repeating them.

That’s what I found when I moved into entrepreneurship, and it’s what I’ve seen when I’ve had clients come to me after changing jobs, changing companies, changing careers—only to find more of the same challenges.

I want you to know that if you’re experiencing this, you’re not broken.

Blake Schofield 8:04
You’re not ungrateful, and there isn’t anything wrong with you. What you’re experiencing are signs and symptoms of misalignment in your life, and the opportunity to learn how to get in alignment and build the leadership skills that you need so that you can move forward with a better way to lead and live your life.

Blake Schofield 8:26
You know, looking back, I realized why I didn’t see that I was trapped in this cycle sooner. High achievers—we’re wired to push through, to be responsible, to take care of everyone else first, and to keep moving forward no matter how hard it gets.

We normalize the exhaustion. We convince ourselves it’s temporary or it’s going to be better at some future point in time. And we might make changes—right? Thinking the next promotion or the next company will fix it. Maybe learning boundaries or productivity hacks, or even going to therapy to try and solve the stress and the lack of clarity about what to do next.

But here’s the thing: when your energy and your fulfillment and your stress don’t actually improve, or they don’t improve consistently long-term, it’s a sign that the root cause has not been solved.

And here’s the truth: every single cycle of misalignment that you go through, it gets shorter and it gets far worse. The highs are lower and the lows are lower, and they last a lot longer. And that breakdown moment—it comes faster.

The first breakdown cycle for me was about two and a half years in that role. By the time I hit my third one, it was six months in that role before I hit the breakdown moment.

And it happens because it happens gradually, right? Have you ever heard that story about the frog in the pot? There’s a frog in water, and the water is turned up very slowly, so much so that the frog gets used to the increased temperature until, at one point, the temperature is so high that it boils the frog. The frog didn’t see it because it happened so slowly that it became normalized.

If instead you had put that frog in the boiling pot from the get-go, it would have jumped out. It would have recognized the level of danger it was in. But for us as leaders, this misalignment builds and builds and builds—just like the temperature in that pot.

That’s what’s happening to so many leaders. We don’t realize how bad it’s gotten until something actually breaks.

Blake Schofield 10:34
And so, if you’re listening right now and you’re recognizing yourself in my story and in this self-assessment, I want you to pause and ask yourself: What’s different about my life today than the life I really want?

Blake Schofield 10:49
Because if you don’t stop and answer that question, the cycle is not going to stop on its own.

And if you recognize, and you want to take action to start to improve your life today—

Blake Schofield 11:01
To start reducing that overwhelm and exhaustion and lack of motivation—it can start really simply with small steps forward. Begin to reclaim that energy, peace of mind, and passion on a daily and weekly basis.

And it’s why I created a special live workshop that’s happening on October 9, and I would love to invite you to join me in this session. I’m going to personally walk you through the three hidden causes of misalignment that are silently driving burnout and exhaustion. Because when you can clearly see and identify what you’re experiencing, you can begin to solve it.

Blake Schofield 11:37
We’ll do a personalized energy leak audit on the call to actually see the biggest opportunity to address right now—to help improve your energy, your peace of mind, your fulfillment. And you’re going to leave with a simple one-step action plan that you can apply immediately.

Because here’s what I know to be true: the longer we stay in misalignment, it’s like filling a glass higher and higher and higher with water until it spills over. We have to start reducing the water in that glass so that there’s space to start to create more positive momentum, regain that energy, regain that passion, and get ahead of the things that are creating so much stress, frustration, or energy drain for you today.

You know, in this workshop, I’m also going to stay for an extra 15 minutes of live Q&A. It’s your opportunity to get support, advice, or help from me, and really leave with more clarity on what to do next in your circumstances.

This is your opportunity to catch the warning signs before you hit breakdown, and finally step into a way of leading and living that fuels you instead of drains you. You can save your spot by going to the show notes. We have the link right there.

Blake Schofield 12:56
I hope to see you on October 9. And until next time, lead with intention and create your impact with ease.

Blake Schofield 13:09
Most successful people don’t realize they’re in burnout because stress and exhaustion have become so normalized. But burnout is actually a sign of deeper misalignment between how you’re wired to thrive and how you’re actually working and living. Fix the misalignment and everything changes.

Blake Schofield 13:31
Take the free quiz at impactwithease.com/burnout-type to discover your burnout type and get next steps to reclaim your energy, lead with confidence, and create more ease in your life and career.